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Melissa and I grew up together. Our mothers were friends before we were born (she in February, I in May). We lived across the street, so we were close companions for the early years of our lives, competing over everything... who could ride her bike faster, who could play her Gameboy better, who had better food at her house, who played better basketball... you get the idea. Our friendship was fraught with tiny, pointless battles and born more out of convenience than any sincere regard for each other.
Somewhere between the ages of 10 and 14, I just... got sick of her. She kept making calls, but I quit returning them. I don't know why it hit me on one particular day; I don't remember if we had a fight, or if I felt betrayed, or if I were just being unreasonable. Either way, although we continued to speak when we saw each other (which happened a little more frequently once I transferred to Northeastern), the friendship was over.
Recently, she got pregnant -- which wouldn't be quite so bad if the father of the child hadn't left her, and wouldn't be too horrible if she had a place to live. Right now she's staying, only temporarily, with her father, and hoping to get a job at Sonic. Today, she had an extremely traumatic accident that didn't injure her at all, but killed the other woman. She's being charged with misdemeanor death. She's six months along, by the way, with no money.
After spending the last three hours with her, I realize... my depression lately has been ridiculous; I have no problems. I could fail every one of my classes this year and be a hundred times better off than I could be... but why are we so different? We grew up together; we lived on the same street; we spent our most formative years at each other's houses, in each other's company. But now I'm one of the elitist college queens, and the difference between my problems and hers is that I'm trying to make all A's... while she's trying to get enough food to survive.
Is this what CEOs feel for slave laborers? Is this what middle class America feels for the poor? Vague curiosity, peppered with distant concern... the shuddering question: why am I not you, and why are you not me?
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2 comments:
I remember you telling me about Melissa...such a horrible situation...
However, what I'm going to tell you something I read in Frankl's book. Pain is relative...the kind of pain one person suffers may fill them up entirely, but not even phase another person, but it does not diminish the importance of that pain to the person who is feeling it. What bothers you may not even scratch the tip of Melissa's mind, but it bothers you nonetheless. But as to how you turned out the way you did and she the way she did, who can say? I used to believe in nurture over nature any day...now (for my own reasons which you should be well aware of) I'm seriously doubting that.
Sorry I've dropped off the face of the planet...yet again...expect it often and lengthy till our glorious return to AU (a place which we are very lucky to be attending).
*comments*
Nyah nyah.
*has a thought* What's the weather in Avon like in December?
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