The essence of womanhood - dedicated to my girls. Yes, I just called you that.

During your lifespan, many people will try to explain their versions of feminism, whether you care or not. They will crusade for it; they will deride you for not supporting it (if applicable); they will deride you for supporting it (if applicable); their opinions will be diverse and often ridiculous. You will be told everything from "Men suck, [and should] grow a vagina" (credit where credit is due... I owe this one to Adam) to "Women are people too!" to something I should probably remember involving seventy-five cents and a dollar. However, I would like to advance my very own version, and you may accept it or reject it as you feel led.

Nothing annoys me more than being harassed. It's a pretty universal experience with an impressive range of emotions... fear, rage, annoyance, disgust, vague amusement. The Rookie's lot experience in the "A night at front" entry touched them all. Ordinarily, I laugh it off or amuse myself by mocking them relentlessly... i.e. the "COME DRINK WITH ME!" guy. (Unfortunately, I didn't know enough German to crush his soul.) Don't get me wrong; being hit on is flattering, but being harassed is totally different. There are very few opportunities, however, to really get even...

Today, while running errands for my mother (shut up! you WISH you were that cool!), I pulled up to a stoplight, one of the banes of my existence... my Lumina and I should be allowed to run free, untrammeled... heeeee. Tangent! There were two cars ahead of me, and two cars beside them. Therefore, the next car stopped just beside me.

This car held two hicks. I should admit now that I'm heavily prejudiced against hicks.

One was maybe 30-ish... wifebeater, opaque colored sunglasses, straggly stache, empty grin. The other was closer to my age, working the black T-shirt "But I'm an ANGSTY hick!" look. When they saw me, they both started laughing (giggling would not be inaccurate) and grinning, motioning at me and practically waving with glee. Ordinarily, I might have smiled back and been on my way... but today was no ordinary day... today I was not trapped in Germany without a getaway car.

When the light turned green I hit the gas and roared past them, processing their shared looks of shock as I smoothly changed lanes and cut them the hell off, unfortunately not in a literal sense, which I would have greatly preferred... if more people held a literal interpretation of that phrase we might be breeding fewer hick babies here.

So there's my philosophy on gender: "Don't hit on girls whose engines perform better than yours."

Yesterday I drove by the waterfront at sunset. It would have been beautiful... if not for these:

I apologize for the blurriness of the first one... I took it while driving.

It wasn't even dark yet... everyone knows you can't smoke your weed or drink your rum and coke (sadly, with this crowd, "coke" may not end in "a-cola"...) until the cover of darkness protects your tortured, angst-ridden, not-truly-understood alcoholic souls...