The little red hen has subjugated the Chinese.

My Macro professor, also responsible for such gems as, "Assume that I... have a button fetish... and will give you one dollar for every button you will rip off your clothing and sell me," has committed yet another unbelievable action... he read us the story of the Little Red Hen, who, armed with her sickle, taught the other animals the importance of working together. I'm pretty sure all this so-called hen taught him were the blood red ways of Communism.

You have to understand... I'm in college... and my professor just read me the touching story of a mother chicken. The last time I heard that story I hadn't mastered solid food.

On the topic of food, it has come to my attention -- by which I mean been shouted at me repeatedly by Ash -- that I owed my wit to cheese, and now that I'm vegan, I'm witless. I mean, not funny. No, witless is probably pretty right too.

However, my Macro prof is apparently eating a lot of cheese. He just contributed yet another jewel of wisdom which I will share with you verbatim.

"Assume that there is a small island, and that the only people on this island are Johnny Depp and Kate Moss. Now, this is a very nice island, and they can just pick whatever they need to eat, so they have time to produce the two things that they desire... acid and pot."

I love this class.